Following Cessy's Footsteps

So if you didn't read Celest's last blog post, you should. It was awesome, she pretty much insured that anyone in the family can satire anyone else with no flack. (albeit in sneakily contrived fashion, complete with convenient scapegoat referenced should need be.)

So I'm going to mark the occasion by poking fun at my own beautiful, ideal wife. Besides being pretty much perfect, she's Russian. But besides being Russian, she's also a really funny Russian. So since the vast of my exposure to Russian comes from her, I've learned I need to be really careful in cross referencing whatever I learn from her. Even though she speaks elevated, intelligent Russian, she... well... goes way overboard on the carebear cute. Everything is prikolnenkiy, dobrenkiy, horoshenkiy! I remember trying to teach her that it isn't appropriate to dangle a minimum of 4 exclamation marks behind each sentence. But I can't poke fun at it, since it's just a reflection of her wonderful personality, her love of life, and enjoying the friendly, cute, over-the-top positive. What I can tease her about is her unique gift for clarification.

Forever I thought this was just a Russian language mystery that I could never quite figure out. Not the case, she's a fluke.

Hey, could you hand me that purple shirt?
This one?
No the one over there that's yellow.
This one?
No, I just thought red and said yellow, that one over there.


That movie doesn't ring any bells, do you know what it's called in English?
No, but it's that one with a hot girl in love with the main guy.
Oh, that one...
Yeah, it's that girl who was in that movie we saw with Danny Devito.
uuu..hmma... you mean Matilda, what girl are you talking about?
What, Danny Devito isn't in Matilda, is he?
uhh.. yeah. He's the dad... and narrator.
Oh, I meant Julia Roberts. She's in that movie with Robert De Niro.
Ocean's Eleven? That's not Robert De Niro.
Well he looks like him.
vaguely... so what movie are you talking about?
Yeah, it has her, and they have a bunch of kids, and they fight with Captain Hook.
Oh, Hook... Why didn't you just say the one with a grown up Peter Pan?

It's not just me who has difficulty understanding, I just read this chat she had with a friend, and about Bwahahahahaed myself to death. I'm translating from Russian as accurately as I can.

How are you? How's Kevin's work?
He's on vacation now.
And Then? Where does he work? I don't know anything:)
Then Anapa for 3 weeks, and then we'll see.
Wow, cooltastic... relaxing on the sea...sweet...I was there 3 days, that's the longest I've been for the last 5 years
Well, Kevin and us aren't going. We're staying home.
Wait, who is going?
That's just the way it is this year...Kevin is going to work.
in Anapa?
Aga
... you just wrote that you are going, then that you aren't and I'm really confused :)
hahaha, You asked about Kevin's work. I said he's on vacation, then going to Anapa for 3 weeks (to work) and then comes back and we'll see for the new school year.

I could really go on with these, but I'll set....

alright I have to add one more. I was just talking to her on the phone, and she was giving me directions for starting the bread to bake later tonight.

a T of Salt, a T of yeast, a T of sugar in a half-liter jar with hot, but not too hot water.
wait, half liter of water, or just jar size? (not a dumb question)
water, yeah have it full. That's it, then let it raise 10 minutes, put it in the flour and let it raise.
How much flour?
Oh yeah, 4 cups. You can use different kinds. There's oatmeal flour if you want, it's in that kind of bag that's the same as the other flours. There's some whole wheat too.
ok, think I got it, later.
*2 minutes, call back*
Hey babe, just checking that I'm doing it right ...
Yeah, you got it.
shouldn't there be oil too?
Yeah, 2 T of that. put it in when you mix the other stuff together and it starts to raise.
ok, love you babe.